Doctor Who: The Mad God – Chapter Twelve

[We come to the end.. the conclusion of the Mad God storyline… Doctor Who (c) the BBC, story is (c) me.]

CHAPTER TWELVE

Her vision was distorted and hazy at first. Her stomach felt sick and slowly the floating coloured blurs in her eyesight started to form actual shapes and details. She was laying on her back and staring upwards at the control panel looming above her. It’s lights warmly glowing and it’s electrical systems softly buzzing. It felt so surreal to her. Something felt very strange.

It was as if she was alone. Although of course she wasn’t, for she turned her head slowly to the left and noticed a form in a chair propped against the railings.

It was the Doctor. He was wearing a cream coloured shirt, with his jacket folded and draped across the railing beside him. He looked dishevelled some, and held a cloth to the edge of his nose. It seemed to be discoloured with a faint stain of red.

He looked to have collapsed into sleep in that position. There was something so old and strange about him as he was so still and so awkwardly curled into his chair; but while she watched him there was a slight shifting of his long legs which caused a small novel to fall from his knee onto the floor with a thud. It appears he wasn’t sleeping at all, but rather deeply focused on a small novel hidden in his lap.

The gold lettering of “Frankenstein” was elegantly edged across the cover as he bent to scoop it up. Just as his fingers curled around the edge of the spine he looked up to noticed she was looking back at him.

“Oh! You’re awake, I wasn’t sure how soon that would be… your system had quite a jolt.”

He deftly ditched his cloth inside the pocket of his folded jacket and tossed the book on his now empty chair as he rose somewhat stiffly to his feet.

He sniffed loudly, and stretched his long limbs out his back cracked along with his knuckles and he smoothly passed a few quick runs of his long fingers through his hair and preened and straightened his clothes. Within a few seconds the dishevelled Doctor now seemed quite presentable and rested.

And a few seconds after that he was kneeling beside her.

“Are you alright, Ravenya? How do you feel?”

The questions were straightforward, but the answers didn’t seem so easy to comprehend. She closed her eyes a moment and breathed deeply. Her lungs felt strange. Her head swam. She was alive – and not only that, she was in a physical whole body.

The mind could do many things, but replicate the full experience of living flesh was not something it could do well. It was overwhelming. She swore she could hear the slooshing of blood running in her veins, and the pulsing of her heart echoing in her ears.

“What happened?” Her voice came out hoarse and rough. “Everything is hazy…”

In fact there was so much jumbled in her mind that she wasn’t entirely sure what was real and what had been some sort of bad dream she must have had.

“You are whole. I put you back together, as best I could. It’s quite complicated and needed a few tweaks and tricks but… well. You’re stable now.” His voice was soft and she opened her eyes once more and focused on him more carefully. He looked concerned. “I wasn’t sure how it would all turn out. I wasn’t even sure you’d wake up.”

With a bit of a careful push and his help she sat up.

“There is much I can’t seem to recall.” her voice was starting to even out, but it still ached her throat a bit. She rubbed her neck with fingers that felt new and fresh. “Why do I feel… different.”

“I guess you are. You are no longer bits and pieces jammed together in one body – but one whole person now. It will take some adjustment.” He stood and helped her carefully to her wobbly feet. “I hope you don’t mind the clothes. I had to think of something.”

She carefully supported herself on the edge of the control panel while her body adjusted to the new position. It was then she noticed what he meant by the reference of clothing.

She was wearing a god awful long coat of patches of bright colours. It was warm and comfortable against her flesh, but it seemed to be a mish-mash of conflicting patterns and hues, as if a strange rainbow had dismantled itself around her. Her questioning lavender eyes looked at him pleading for an explaination.

“…it was a phase.” he quickly cleared his throat and dismissed that tangent of thought entirely. “Anyway, the important thing is that you indeed seem to be functioning now. Yes… scans are saying your body functions are just fine and all your inner workings are working well!”

He was a bit of a whirlwind, checking monitors and humming to himself as he worked his way around the control panel. “I had to remove a few things, had to leave a few things in too. In fact I’m not sure what exactly you are classified as now. But that doesn’t matter… a person is a person really. What are labels anyway? Just an annoyance really..”

“Doctor?”

“…Now I think everything is settled down, you had a bit of a fever spiking before while your body was still healing – but it’s all seemingly normal now. There are a few minor issues we may have to deal with..”

“Doctor? I don’t-”

“…Likely won’t be able to go far from the waters though. I think you may need to–”

“Doctor!” the sharpness in her voice stopped him in his tracks. He blinked at her with wide eyes and finally fell silent. “Doctor, what am I supposed to do now? Who am I now?”

Her eyes had welled. It was an unfamiliar feeling of desperation and fear. It seemed that the residue of emotions were one of the side effects from the whole ordeal. They burned and ached in her chest as her eyes stung with unfamiliar leaking.

He walked to her, in a few solid steps. He carefully took one of her hands and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Sometimes we all have to find out who we are. Sometimes things happen which change us, and we are forced to step away as a new person. It’s terrifying, I know… but it’s exciting too isn’t it? The unknown.. but no one can tell you who you really are. Only you can figure out who you are or who this new person will become. I guess that’s just how life is sometimes. As for what you are supposed to do? Who knows.” He smirked, a gentle curl of his lip. “Maybe that’s the point, eh? We find out who we are and that leads us to what we need to do? The point is you have a whole world of new people who got a second change. A Great Resurrection. Now – you have one too. Maybe they can show you how to begin again.”

“Why would they ever do that? Things are hazy, but I do remember some things. I remade them… I destroyed what they were and remade them. Maybe I wasn’t entirely in control but it was still me, in some sense. I gave them nothing but a foundation to start with. Why would they ever help me?”

He shrugged slipped a hand past her and hit a lever. The door of the TARDIS opened across from them showing the grass and the sky.

“You gave them life when you could have left them with death. You were willing to sacrifice yourself knowing that I may end you simply for fear of becoming a mad God. You had so many options available to you, and trust me.. I’ve met many who took the easy path. I’ve seen many ‘Gods’ slaughter and reap what they could. Knowing all the things you could have become or allowed yourself to be… you chose to possibly destroy yourself instead. You picked their resurrection to power. I don’t know what will become of you, or them. But I think you need them – just as much as they are going to need you.”

He took her hand gently and together they walked out into the sunlight of a new day. The colours on his old long coat shined brilliantly in the sun. “All beginnings start somewhere after all.”