You are more than a label. You are not an orientation, a spirituality, or a collection of descriptors. You may choose to define yourself by these things… but they are not what you are.
Society places so much stigma on what we need to be, and how we choose to define ourselves that it can get very difficult to understand the distinction between who you really are – and how you explain aspects of your personality.
I am asexual, but I am not just asexual. Nor am I like everyone else who defines themselves as asexual. My asexuality just is. The label just helps explain the general concept of one small piece of myself. Just as someone being straight or gay is one piece of the entire puzzle.
The same thing can be said for any aspect of my life. I’m an artist, I’m pagan, I’m a self proclaimed geek… but these things aren’t all I am. They certainly don’t tell the whole story.
I see so many people out there who seem to get lost in trying to find themselves. They seem to be looking for the missing labels that will all of a sudden make themselves whole, complete, and understood. They struggle so hard to find these magical descriptors that will suddenly explain to the world who they are, and they can’t understand why none of it ever seems to work.
Maybe they wonder if it’s them who are broken somehow. I know I’ve wondered it about myself over the years.
Part of me wonders why our youth tends to grow up so obsessed about how the world sees them. Without they words to describe themselves, how will they ever know who they are?
What I’ve learned about myself however is that labels and titles, and descriptions are just that. Simple words used to relay a general idea.
People are beautifully complex, complicated, and messy. We are never solely one thing and rarely do we ever fully fit into one box.
We grow constantly and change unexpectedly. We learn, adapt and evolve. And that is brilliant.
In the end what I’ve learned is the only way to truly find out who you are is to experience yourself. And along the way perhaps you’ll find the right group of people to experience that with you.