Note: Searching for Labels.

You are more than a label. You are not an orientation, a spirituality, or a collection of descriptors. You may choose to define yourself by these things… but they are not what you are.

Society places so much stigma on what we need to be, and how we choose to define ourselves that it can get very difficult to understand the distinction between who you really are – and how you explain aspects of your personality.

I am asexual, but I am not just asexual. Nor am I like everyone else who defines themselves as asexual. My asexuality just is. The label just helps explain the general concept of one small piece of myself. Just as someone being straight or gay is one piece of the entire puzzle.

The same thing can be said for any aspect of my life. I’m an artist, I’m pagan, I’m a self proclaimed geek… but these things aren’t all I am. They certainly don’t tell the whole story.

I see so many people out there who seem to get lost in trying to find themselves. They seem to be looking for the missing labels that will all of a sudden make themselves whole, complete, and understood. They struggle so hard to find these magical descriptors that will suddenly explain to the world who they are, and they can’t understand why none of it ever seems to work.

Maybe they wonder if it’s them who are broken somehow. I know I’ve wondered it about myself over the years.

Part of me wonders why our youth tends to grow up so obsessed about how the world sees them. Without they words to describe themselves, how will they ever know who they are?

What I’ve learned about myself however is that labels and titles, and descriptions are just that. Simple words used to relay a general idea.

People are beautifully complex, complicated, and messy. We are never solely one thing and rarely do we ever fully fit into one box.

We grow constantly and change unexpectedly. We learn, adapt and evolve. And that is brilliant.

In the end what I’ve learned is the only way to truly find out who you are is to experience yourself. And along the way perhaps you’ll find the right group of people to experience that with you.  


2 thoughts on “Note: Searching for Labels.

  1. I agree to a point. I don’t think people should get too stressed out about labels if they don’t think one fits them. But I think some people, more than they are concerned about describing themselves, are trying to find ways to understand themselves. Because before I knew that bisexuality was a thing, I just felt “not straight” which kinda felt like “not normal” which is maybe would have felt fine as an adult, but I wasn’t an adult, I was ten and I wanted to be normal. As soon as there was a word for it then there were at least other people and I wasn’t alone in feeling how I was feeling. I don’t think bisexual is all I am, but I’m much less obsessed with my identity now than it has a name than I was when I was a teenager and it didn’t.


    1. Good points! I agree that having a name for certain parts of yourself is a very healing and self-affirming experience. Not having them is just as dangerous for our sense of self. It makes life so confusing and blocks the roads to communicating to others who may be feeling / going through the same difficulties. It also helps bring a positive sense of belonging and finding others who feel/think/are the same way.

      I just worry that a lot of people get so blinded by fitting into so many labels that they forget to -be themselves-. There is so much pressure on our youth anymore to notch themselves into certain categories that it really starts being disastrous for their mental health.

      It’s a very strange balance between “Owning” a bunch of descriptive words for who you are, and having them “Own” your personal sense of identity. At least in my opinion. 🙂

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your story!

      Liked by 1 person

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