Personal Blog: Unfinished Stories..

The Unfinished Stories…

I occasionally dare a glance at the folder on my computer called “Writing”. This is where I keep all the bits and pieces, and hundreds of words of various stories I have either finished writing – or in the tentative process of trying to finish. This is where they sleep like little captive critters.

You see the truth is (as many of us on these blogs know) having a chaotically creative mind can be a dangerous thing. Certainly it can weave tales of wonder and can draw you into a world of your own creation – heart mind and soul… but it also wanders. A lot.

My creativity can be so focused on writing for a while, lost in multiple stories on the go that I could spend hours writing on each a night… to not having the inspiration to lift my viritual pen to the next week. Instead my creativity suddenly comes to realize that other forms of artwork needs my immediate and unshared attention!

You see Writing is one of my vents. Certainly it’s a love of mine. But it isn’t -my only- vent.

I’m in an equally committed relationship with my sketchbooks, watercolours and canvas. Oh the woes of a creative chaotic mind that has a shifting focus like a circling goldfish! (wait, did that rhyme?)

So, as artwork is where my bills get paid.. sometimes my focus draws there and I’m stuck in a cycle of art supplies rather then open word documents.

Really though, looking through my various writing files – truth is we are all probably like this in one way or another. Or at least I like to think most of us do. Maybe it’s because our mind builds stories so quickly we don’t have the actual time or ability to catch up with it? Or maybe it’s just the price we pay for being such creative beings? We get stuck as a slave to our muses and constantly chasing our own written tails? (Tales, hah!)

Ah well. One way or another I will hopefully finish all the unfinished stories and be able to keep a one track mind…

Who am I kidding? We all know -that- isn’t going to happen. So instead let me revise — hopefully one day I can finish far more stories then I start.

That sounds a bit more reasonable…

-Crowskin

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Poem: Unsaid Explanation

Unsaid Explanation

I love you –

I just can’t take your touch.

Losing my connection.

Lacking the corrections –

To make me what you need.

I want you –

But that’s just not enough.

Not when every part of me,

seems lost to this insanity.

Born without the capacity…

…To open up.

I’m too raw inside these walls.

I’m emotionally a catastrophe.

A creature fearing all intimacy-

And inside I’m all messed up.

I fear you.

You make me crumble.

Pointing out my complications –

Questioning my hesitations.

You make me weak.

Believe me…

When I tell you – I’m sorry.

My heart is self destructive,

I ‘m torn from the reconstruction –

But it’s just not me.

I need you.

I want you to understand.

Your friendship is my salvation,

Your words break the isolation,

You give me light.

I love you.

I want you… to open up.

I fear you.

Believe me… I need you.

Dreamtime Adventures: A free story for children

A while ago I started an idea for a children’s book. Just something small that I wanted to try and create with artwork and a simple story. During this year, while I was needing something to keep me focused during quite a difficult time – I managed to get the artwork made, and the story flushed out.

It was certainly a learning process and definitely an experiment in making and understanding visual story-telling. It was hard to get over my perfectionism and stop trying to rework things -constantly- (It’s a bad habit of mine…) but I managed to get the artwork done, coloured, the story put in, and the project finished. It was excellent practice for potentially more stories told in this method later on.

I wasn’t sure what to do with the finished piece however.

After a long thought process I decided to post it on my website for free. Maybe one day I’ll make physical copies to sell – but for now I feel good about letting it go out into the world as it is.

So if you are interested in it, you can find it here:

http://crowskin.wixsite.com/eyesofacrow/dreamtimeadventures

Please don’t mind the watermarks – it’s a safe way of trying to protect the artwork.

If you have any comments or want to share your feedback, please remember that there is also a facebook group for this Blog here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/178640449387389/

I hope to have more chapters up soon, just taking a break to write and settle after the holiday season.

Best wishes to all of you!

-Crowskin

Just an update

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to let my readers know that I’ve created a facebook group for Black Quill Blog. https://www.facebook.com/groups/178640449387389/

I think it will be a good way of keeping in contact with some of those who are reading my stories and it’ll help provide a better way of keeping in touch or leaving feedback about what I post.

If you’re on facebook and wish to join up with the group, please feel free to.

Also, as an update to the current plans for the blog: I have been working on “The Cluster” a bit more then “Veilreach” right now. It’s just the way my mind works sometimes – one project takes a lead over another. I promise I will get back to Veilreach as soon as I can creatively focus on it! Until then, enjoy the creeptastic tale which is unfolding with The Cluster!

 

Best wishes, and I hope you all have a wonderful Winter Solstice,

-Crowskin

Movie Review: Blade Runner 2049

For something a little different, I thought I would give my honest opinion of the movie “Blade Runner 2049” that I just finished watching a few hours ago.

First of all; I am a huge fan of the original Blade Runner. I first watched it while taking a ‘Villains in Literature’ course during my college years. Back then I did up a report on the movie as well, and explored a lot of the philosophy and familiarity to the original Prometheus and Frankenstein mythos. I also went in depth on who the real ‘villains’ were and what the character motivations broke down into.

But aside from all that I must say the movie itself is just a gorgeous and thought provoking piece. It has remained one of my favorites since then and still holds a fond spot in my heart when I occasionally rewatch it. Because of my love for the original – I was highly concerned when I first heard rumors that Hollywood was going to revisit this specific movie!

Luckily I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. Whew!

‘Blade Runner 2049’ is a sequel piece that follows up about 30 years in the future from the end of the original ‘Blade Runner’ movie. It’s musical score is hauntingly familiar and the atmosphere is highly on point to the original feel of the movie world. The gritty ‘cop noir’ feel remains and the story was not only respected, but added to without over complicating plot points or overshadowing the first movies lore.

I also adored all the throw back cues to the first movie including some of the same footage / audio being used in key places. It made it very cohesive without being a full on “oh my god, they are regurgitating the entire first movie!” information dump. Plus points on that one because follow-up movies sometimes rely too heavily on that.

The run time was almost three hours, which I personally didn’t mind. I understand some people may have been irritated at the slow draw for some of the scenes – but I honestly wasn’t. There were quite a few slow paces in the first movie and I feel it was key in places to take the dramatic moment to it’s furthest edges. It didn’t feel at all that they were simply padding the runtime, but rather building for dramatic effect.

Overall the movie hit all the geeky nostalgic moments, and drew me back into the brilliant world of Replicants. It fired up a new admiration for that cinematic world and the characters within it – and part of me hopes that there is a third movie somewhere down the lines because there are still questions awaiting answers! (Although for certain I am happy to leave those questions tauntingly unanswered if it means avoiding a movie that ruins this films run..)

The only real criticism I have are mainly technical details. Some of the music, although beautifully and hauntingly done – were far too sharp and loud. It was a little too obvious in places that the sharp mechanical noises were emphasised far too much for no real reason. This wasn’t part of the soundtrack, but after-effect noises that were added in for atmosphere, but not in relation to exactly what was going on screen. Sharp mechanical whines or grinding traffic noises that overshadowed the scene.

Perhaps this was an effect that will be lessened on the DVD or Blu-Ray copy – but at the theatre it became distracting fast!

Also – It isn’t a movie I would have wanted to see in 3D. I am very glad I went with a friend who also likes watching movies without all the special 3D effects. Look, it was awesome in movies like AVATAR – but this slower paced and less blaring action type movie just gets muddled up with too much special effects whizzing by. Do yourself a favour and watch it in standard regular ol’ format to get a real feel of it. It’s got enough snazzy atmosphere and visual effects to keep you entertained – I’m sure.

All in all it was one of the more enjoyable movies I’ve seen in a while. Five stars, and I can’t wait for it to become available for purchase!

 

 

 

NEW LIFE: Full Story

Hello all!

Just a heads up, I know I left off at Chapter Twenty-Six – but instead of posting the rest of the chapters here I have made the entire thing available on Wattpad. You can easily finish up the story there and read it in your own time. Just click the new fancy cover image I created for it and you’ll be taken to the story location!

Again, the reason why I am using Wattpad as well as WordPress is only to keep things tidy and easy to find later. I think it will be far easier to streamline things in the future if I have the ability to keep my long fiction in one archive that won’t be lost in multiple blog posts later on.

That being said – I still love this format on WordPress, and I will still be releasing short fiction and chapters here as well. Maybe even a few more personal notes and poetry as well.

Best wishes and happy reading!

-Crowskin

Personal Journal: Where are we? 2017

Warning: This is a personal rant about uncomfortable subjects. It is merely my thoughts and opinions – but it is also bitterly honest.

I’ve been trying to put my thoughts into words about the latest chaos going on in the world; but it’s been excessively difficult. I watch the news daily and find myself more and more disturbed about the current events. I watch things with a sick twisted feeling in my gut. People say “it’s like watching a car crash” when they see a disaster that both interests, disgusts, and terrifies them. That is what it feels like. A car crash.

We are in the year 2017.

Does everyone remember that? 2017.

Why does it feel like instead of moving forward – we are slipping back? I don’t mean a lack of progress, no I mean back-peddling into the most dangerous and hateful parts of our human history.

There is a real possibility of a nuclear war, there is a war against science as people are starting to deny climate change, evolution, and even the fact that our world is a globe. All the obstacles we had against Trans and LGBT+ people seem to be coming back up with a vengeance. We will put Trans people on Television to entertain us, but deny them the right to fight for the very country they love.

My gods people, the bloody KKK was holding a march with flaming torches and while wearing hoods and waving full on Nazi flags! Think about that.

We had a mob of hate filled people with flaming torches taking to the street. This is not a bloody archaic horror movie – they weren’t chasing down a fictitious monster. (Some would argue they -were- the monsters, but I digress…)

And this wasn’t a distant thing. It didn’t happen in some strange little country where we can ignore and slip under the rug – but out in the open in the United States of America…

And then to add another huge insult to the gaping injury of this reality – but one of them decided to take out some counter-protesters by running into them with their vehicle in an act of domestic terrorism. (Although I admit, not all the details are being announced yet and there was major violence on both sides – it was still a violent hateful act.)

Now some will argue that these problems have always been swelling under the surface for a long time. We’ve always had racism, sexism, and fanatical religious nuts. Nothing new there I am afraid.

That is very much true – but these used to be deplorable and disdainful things!

Didn’t they?

When did we become a culture where this stuff is so frequent and.. defendable? Sure, there is free speech, I get that! Why do you think the West Boro Church is allowed to sputter their hateful speech at the most inappropriate places possible… but there is a major difference between FREE SPEECH and HATE CRIMES, isn’t there? You are allowed to have an opinion, but you are -not- allowed to take that opinion and shove it so far down peoples throats that they have to choke on it…

I could also point my finger and blame the great Orange One for all this madness – the Trump Era which has seen most of these problems blow up in our faces – but he is only a symptom of the greater problem.

After all, Russia issue or not… he was VOTED in. And he is supported by a hell of a lot of people still. He isn’t the problem (Or, I should say; He isn’t the ONLY problem.) he’s just shining a giant orange spotlight onto it – one we can no longer deny.

I’m in Canada. Something I am more and more proud of. And I could just hold the opinion that “oh well, that’s just the States – thank gods I don’t live there!” but the fact is, it isn’t just the States that is effected by all this. I’d be blind and narrow minded to think that.

I have friends who are American. Great friends who are fierce and wise. Friends who aren’t full of hate and fear and anger. Friends who are very much in danger of all this growing chaos.

Canada itself is also neighbors with America.

What happens to them -DOES- effect us.

I can see this in my local news as more shootings, racism, and hate crimes flair up in our major cities. Not as much as the States, that’s true. We aren’t hit nearly as hard here as our neighbors below – but don’t kid yourself. We aren’t that far away. We can’t afford to be blind to it.

No – it shows a greater problem in the world.
One that terrifies me.

When did Hate and Fear become okay? When did the world lose it’s mind and forget that we have only one planet we are living on. We are only one species that inhabits this place filled with a massive amount of other species that depend on us not being psychopathic imbeciles?

We are better then this! I know we are. I know we -can- be.

Can’t we?

I choose to be kind today. I choose to see the good things as well as the bad. I choose to think that one person showing kindness can effect the world more then one person spouting hate. I am going to hope there are enough heroes in the world to offset the great wall of madness that seems to be blocking off peoples common sense.

All throughout history we have had dark times. This is nothing new.

We can choose to accept and ignore it – or admit there is something wrong in the world and do what little things we can to try and offset it.

It may not feel like much. But it is a choice we can make. Maybe if enough of us see the wrongs in the world and choose to be better then it – maybe we can still turn things around. Before it becomes too normal and too comfortable to just live with it.

Obviously people have been far too comfortable and too blind to the undercurrents of hate and fear for far too long…

 

-Crowskin