Blue January

So I haven’t written in a little while.

I suppose it’s mainly because I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately.

Creatively I feel stunted and lost. I get spurts of creativity and impulses to start something – only to lose those threads the moment I actually sit down to enact them. My mind hasn’t been focusing on things I want to focus on, and instead I often times feel myself replaying stresses and problems in my head that I can’t work around – or worse, cycling through mistakes and things in the past that I can’t do a thing about and only serves to hurt myself to dwell on. (And yet, even knowing these things does little to actually stop the behavior. Not sure if this is because of OCD or depression but it has been rough. Mental illness… not fun.)

I do have lots of cool creative ideas, and desires to start bright and proactive things. I’m trying. But it does sometimes feel like I’m fighting against quicksand at times.

Why am I bothering to write THIS of all things? (And trust me, this has been a struggle! If only you could see how many times I’ve deleted paragraphs, paused midway or edited them multiple times. I’ve considered deleting the whole entry at least three times.)

Because I think it’s important that people realize these things go on in other peoples heads as well. Everyone has their own struggles – even if you don’t always see it. Even if it’s complicated, hard to explain, or messy. It’s life. We’re all just trying to work our way through it.

Plus it’s still writing. It’s still forcing myself to put these messy and imperfect thoughts of my into words. It’s trying to make sense of this tangled ball of threads so I can better understand myself. (‘Know Thyself’ isn’t easy…)

So… Hello again.

I’m still around. I haven’t up and abandoned this blog to the nether of forgotten websites and unfinished tales. I’m just taking some time to muddle through the downward parts of this roller coaster.

And I’m still in the shadows wishing you all hope, happiness, and the strength to make it through all your spirals too. Because – like all things. It will get better.

Eventually. ❤

2023: Don’t release the Kraken!

I’m sure if you are living in North America and have paid attention to the news – you know there has been mention of a mysterious ‘Kraken’ subvariant of the COVID-19 virus (XBB.1.5). It’s apparently shaping up to be the most transmissible version yet. But as for how powerful or damaging this Kraken is? No clue yet. I think only time will tell just how dangerous this new risk is and all hopes are that even though it spreads super quick – lets hope it’s far milder then some of it’s more potent versions.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Friday it is tracking a new variant of concern dubbed XBB.1.5. According to figures published last week, it estimates XBB.1.5 makes up 40.5% of new infections across the country — making it the dominant strain driving new U.S. infections.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/covid-variant-xbb-1-5-cdc-tracking-us-cases-dominant-strain/

“It is the most transmissible subvariant that has been detected yet,” WHO technical lead Maria Van Kerkhove said. “The reason for this are the mutations that are within this recombinant – this subvariant of Omicron – allowing this virus to adhere to the cell and replicate easily.”

https://globalnews.ca/news/9389991/covid-xbb-1-5-kraken-subvariant-detected-alberta/

Between Dec. 22 and Dec. 28 in Ottawa, the viral signal for COVID in the city’s wastewater doubled. In the week since then, it has continued to rise to levels not seen since last July and nearing the peak of the wave last March, said Tyson Graber, associate scientist at the CHEO Research Institute and co-lead investigator on Ottawa’s coronavirus wastewater monitoring program. He said the COVID-19 surge is likely to continue throughout January. “The pandemic is not over, unfortunately.”

https://ottawasun.com/news/local-news/immune-evasive-covid-subvariant-in-ottawa-wastewater-part-of-new-pandemic-wave/wcm/a265f2c2-0f83-408d-9494-e257526d7511

Now normally this is old hat. We’ve all been through this before right? Most people seem annoyed or irritated at it even being mentioned again and again. But the main problem we have is here in Ontario we are still dealing with our crumbling medical system and now a massive shortage on cold and flu drugs. Where it used to be just a large shortage on kids meds – it’s now a blanket issue that involves standard cold medications as well.

When normally you could have popped some over the counter cold meds, stayed in for a week, and got over this infection by yourself – now options are a bit more limited. People are going to medical centers because they can’t find relief over-the-counter and need help. Hospitals aren’t able to clear their massive backlog because there are now more and more people flooding into the hospitals in order to get essential treatment because they have no pharmaceuticals to help them deal with it on their own.

Plus we have a large chunk of the population that is sick and tired of all this talk about being sick and tired. Political and social pressures get involved and the whisper of mandates to help quell the amount of people getting infected creates a huge backlash and pushback. Half the time it feels like we are one ‘wear a mask’ conversation away from having another Trucker Convoy blockading the streets.

It’s tough.

I would have loved if 2023 started with the disappearance of Covid-19 and all it’s horrendous little offspring’s. I would have been grateful to move on with life as it were the ‘pre-pandemic days’. I almost feel envy for those people who are just saying ‘heck with it’ and choosing to believe that the whole affair isn’t real or never existed.

But here we are. It’s becoming more then obvious that we can’t beat this thing.

That boat sailed out many months ago. We’re stuck with it now.

BUT – we have tools to lessen it’s impact and to hopefully help steer it into becoming a less intrusive endemic virus that pops up every season like the flu, but kills a lot less then it has already. Herd immunity and vaccinations have helped (I believe anyway…) and hopefully that will be enough for nature to carefully work itself out.

For the moment? I’m still going to wear my mask and tread carefully. And I’ll continue to hopefully evade an infection and hope like heck that I don’t lose anyone I care about to it either. I know we’ve all become so sick of this whole affair.

I still think 2023 will be better.

It has to be.
Only time will tell for sure.

Keep being safe out there people! I want to see each and every one of you here for 2024.